Have you ever been in a meeting where several different departments meet and nobody understands each other? A very simple subject which should be covered in a matter of minutes takes over an hour. I just came from such a meeting and am now blogging so I will refrain from pulling my hair out.
It doesn’t help that my head feels all plugged! My boss is supposed to be leaving to go to one of our offices over an hour away. I am excited because whenever she is gone I feel like I get more work done.
Rain Child commented on my last page that I should look into getting a Mac Pro for my new computer. Lil’sis had to get a Mac for school because of the design software they used and she raves about them too. If I even say the word Mac around my BIL he will go off for about an hour about how great they are and then drag me to his computer to look up Mac’s online. The problem is that it would cost me about $1000 more then getting similar features in a Dell. I understand that in the long run I will probably save money because Mac’s tend to run a lot longer than PC’s but I also have to take into account all the software I would have to replace from a PC to a Mac.
Then again, since my PC I currently have is still going (though slowly and with a ton of errors) I have sometime to save for it. I can put the money I had planned aside and within a few months I would have enough for a Mac. I bet you love to read about my internal struggle….. To Mac or not to Mac.
Our adoption worker sent me some stuff to fill out over a week ago and it is still sitting on my bedside table. I haven’t had the time or energy to even go over it. My biggest concern is that it is asking for my physician to fill out medical history. My problem is that I don’t have a physician. I just go to my local walk in clinic when I am sick. Over the past 5 years I have gone to over 5 different places so nobody has all my records. How am I going to get a physician to fill out a form which asks my medical history when he doesn’t even know my medical history?
They also want us to fill out a Marriage/Divorce decree which asks about our marriage divorce history. Neither of us has either even though I considered us married. In our state we have Domestic Partnership’s which give you all the state rights but it doesn’t ask about that and to be honest, we haven’t even turned in our application even though we are coming up to our 5 year wedding anniversary this year.
It also asking for financial stuff and that makes me a little worried. I am not a good saver and really don’t have a lot in savings...and when I say not a lot, I mean none. We also have very little to no debt but I still feel lacking. I thought all this feelings of inadequacy would go away after we were licensed as foster parents but I guess not.
Tuesday, February 9, 2010
Monday, February 8, 2010
Computers
The sickness has continued. Jasper finally was well enough to go to daycare on Wednesday but then I got a call from the school nurse that Sarah was sick on Thursday so she came home early and stayed home Friday. Sarah seemed okay on Saturday but then at noon Gus had a 102 fever. He is out of school today and both Rosie and I feel gross and sickly! IT NEVER ENDS!
I didn’t clean at all this weekend and we had fast/convenient food almost every night. Tonight I decided to do a step up from fast food and we are getting chicken patties and French fries from the frozen food section of Albertsons. It probably isn’t that much healthier but it makes me feel a little better.
We did our taxes early this year and were pleasantly surprised by our refund. We decided to pay in full a few bills and then want to use the rest for a new computer. I am pretty proficient with computer software but no absolutely nothing about hardware. I use my computer for the following: Surf the internet, listen to music, watch TV (hulu), excel, and mostly I use it for The Sims 3. I prefer a laptop because they are just awesome. Is there anyone out there who knows computers? Can you give me any recommendations on what I should look for?
I didn’t clean at all this weekend and we had fast/convenient food almost every night. Tonight I decided to do a step up from fast food and we are getting chicken patties and French fries from the frozen food section of Albertsons. It probably isn’t that much healthier but it makes me feel a little better.
We did our taxes early this year and were pleasantly surprised by our refund. We decided to pay in full a few bills and then want to use the rest for a new computer. I am pretty proficient with computer software but no absolutely nothing about hardware. I use my computer for the following: Surf the internet, listen to music, watch TV (hulu), excel, and mostly I use it for The Sims 3. I prefer a laptop because they are just awesome. Is there anyone out there who knows computers? Can you give me any recommendations on what I should look for?
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Sick Kid Zone
I meant to blog yesterday but I have been so tired. I have only had the energy to read other blogs (which I commented on, so proud of myself). The past three nights I have been averaging about 4 hours of sleep which isn’t good for me.
Jasper has been sick since Saturday and it has been a rollercoaster. We have taken him too the emergency room twice since then. I am use to kids having high fevers but this was scary. Jasper couldn’t sleep in his room because he would wake up every 20 minutes or so crying and would wake Gus up. At 8 o’clock we had given him so fever reducer and by 11am his fever was at 103 and he was completely out of it and singing songs to himself.
Rosie freaked out and took him to the emergency room where they said he had a viral infection and a double ear infection. They gave us a prescription for Children’s Tylenol and antibiotics. His fever would not go below 100 during the next two days. We were giving him the Tylenol every six hours to keep the fever from spiking but it steadily kept going up even with the medicine.
Last night, 1:30am he woke up sobbing, his temp was at 102.3 so we gave him more medicine. By 2:30am he was shaking and sobbing and his fever wasn’t going down so Rosie took him to the emergency room. Of course, as fate would have it by the time they got to the emergency room his fever had dropped to 98.6, the lowest since Saturday.
Rosie also asked about his cough. He couldn’t sleep for more than 20-30 minute periods, even when on medicine because he would wake up in a coughing fit. The Dr. examined him and apparently Jasper has been having asthma attacks. So we got an inhaler too.
The asthma thing seems to make a lot of sense. Jasper has had this cough pretty forever which I just assumed just kept lingering from one illness to the next. I am going to make an appointment for him to see our pediatrician about these Asthma issues.
Project: Help Sarah with the class she was failing, was a success. Each day we worked with her for about 2 hours going over the work, helping her with note cards, etc. After our session last night, I feel confident that she understood and was caught up on the material she had been studying. I told her that I would still like to review her homework before it was turned in but that studying with us was no longer mandatory but she was always free to ask us for help. I have never seen Sarah so happy. I can’t say for sure, but I have a feeling that this little ‘project’ will help Sarah make sure she keeps on top of her course work and pay attention in class.
Before our lives were immersed in the “Sick Kid Zone,” Rosie and I had decided to completely rearrange the kitchen. HUGE undertaking but it was so worth it. My house looked like a war zone for a good 12 hours but now fierce cooking arena. Everything we need is close, accessible, and not at the bottom of a draw of crap. I LOVE IT.
Jasper has been sick since Saturday and it has been a rollercoaster. We have taken him too the emergency room twice since then. I am use to kids having high fevers but this was scary. Jasper couldn’t sleep in his room because he would wake up every 20 minutes or so crying and would wake Gus up. At 8 o’clock we had given him so fever reducer and by 11am his fever was at 103 and he was completely out of it and singing songs to himself.
Rosie freaked out and took him to the emergency room where they said he had a viral infection and a double ear infection. They gave us a prescription for Children’s Tylenol and antibiotics. His fever would not go below 100 during the next two days. We were giving him the Tylenol every six hours to keep the fever from spiking but it steadily kept going up even with the medicine.
Last night, 1:30am he woke up sobbing, his temp was at 102.3 so we gave him more medicine. By 2:30am he was shaking and sobbing and his fever wasn’t going down so Rosie took him to the emergency room. Of course, as fate would have it by the time they got to the emergency room his fever had dropped to 98.6, the lowest since Saturday.
Rosie also asked about his cough. He couldn’t sleep for more than 20-30 minute periods, even when on medicine because he would wake up in a coughing fit. The Dr. examined him and apparently Jasper has been having asthma attacks. So we got an inhaler too.
The asthma thing seems to make a lot of sense. Jasper has had this cough pretty forever which I just assumed just kept lingering from one illness to the next. I am going to make an appointment for him to see our pediatrician about these Asthma issues.
Project: Help Sarah with the class she was failing, was a success. Each day we worked with her for about 2 hours going over the work, helping her with note cards, etc. After our session last night, I feel confident that she understood and was caught up on the material she had been studying. I told her that I would still like to review her homework before it was turned in but that studying with us was no longer mandatory but she was always free to ask us for help. I have never seen Sarah so happy. I can’t say for sure, but I have a feeling that this little ‘project’ will help Sarah make sure she keeps on top of her course work and pay attention in class.
Before our lives were immersed in the “Sick Kid Zone,” Rosie and I had decided to completely rearrange the kitchen. HUGE undertaking but it was so worth it. My house looked like a war zone for a good 12 hours but now fierce cooking arena. Everything we need is close, accessible, and not at the bottom of a draw of crap. I LOVE IT.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Thank Goodness
Trixie is doing much better. The vet did blood & urine work and they came back great. She think it may be a neurological issue and referred us to two specialists in the area.
When Rosie brought Trixie home she seemed a whole lot better. She couldn't jump on couches and had seemed a little off. This morning she seemed even better, I didn't get to spend too much time with her but it seemed like she may be okay.
When I first saw her acting funny yesterday morning, the first thing that came to me was stroke. Rosie said the Vet said the same thing. I am very relieved the the effects are temporary. We are still going to take her to the neurologist but the urgency is a little less. I am hoping to schedule it out a 2-3 weeks which will help us be able to deal with it finacially. In my experience with animial specialists is that they are VERY expensive. It cost us almost $300.00 just to have an eye specialist look at Trixie when she went blind. The vet didn't even run any tests!
In other un-animal related news. I had my first study session with Sarah last night. She came into with a bad attitude but I stopped what we were doing and explained sternly that I was doing this for her benefit only and I expect full corroperation with ZERO fuss. She turned it around instantly and we had a very successful section. I introduced index cards to her and helped her write out key words and ideas. I helped her make practice sheets for diagrams and other useful study tools.
She became overwhelmed when she realized the amount of memorization that was expected of her and fussed a bit. I explained that how important it was to study as she went through the chapters. She had a week to go over each section in class and at home and she didn't use that time so we are now studying 3 sections in four days.
I consider the study time a success. I just hope her attitude holds for the whole weekend.
When Rosie brought Trixie home she seemed a whole lot better. She couldn't jump on couches and had seemed a little off. This morning she seemed even better, I didn't get to spend too much time with her but it seemed like she may be okay.
When I first saw her acting funny yesterday morning, the first thing that came to me was stroke. Rosie said the Vet said the same thing. I am very relieved the the effects are temporary. We are still going to take her to the neurologist but the urgency is a little less. I am hoping to schedule it out a 2-3 weeks which will help us be able to deal with it finacially. In my experience with animial specialists is that they are VERY expensive. It cost us almost $300.00 just to have an eye specialist look at Trixie when she went blind. The vet didn't even run any tests!
In other un-animal related news. I had my first study session with Sarah last night. She came into with a bad attitude but I stopped what we were doing and explained sternly that I was doing this for her benefit only and I expect full corroperation with ZERO fuss. She turned it around instantly and we had a very successful section. I introduced index cards to her and helped her write out key words and ideas. I helped her make practice sheets for diagrams and other useful study tools.
She became overwhelmed when she realized the amount of memorization that was expected of her and fussed a bit. I explained that how important it was to study as she went through the chapters. She had a week to go over each section in class and at home and she didn't use that time so we are now studying 3 sections in four days.
I consider the study time a success. I just hope her attitude holds for the whole weekend.
Thursday, January 28, 2010
Grades
I received the following comment from Lee: (**wave hi**)
“ …… Not saying if would apply but what would you do if you found that she was making good effort but only getting a C?...”
It’s funny that she used the words ‘good effort’ because that was some of the wording I used in my original draft of the grade chart and I am not quite sure why I removed them.
There are going to be subjects she isn’t good at, material which baffle her and teachers with whom she doesn’t work well with. I understand that and as long as I see her working hard that is all I can ask for. If in the end she still ends up with a ‘D’ in the class, the only perceived consequence will be that mom is going to be a bit more involved at homework time in an effort to help.
The same would apply if her average was a “C”, though knowing her intelligence I would probably be very concerned and probably more involved with the school in trying to get assistance for her. I am not trying to punish her for not understanding something; I am trying to teach her to try her best.
Right now Sarah is dealing with the trio of issues (subject, material, and teacher). Instead of studying hard and asking for help she has simply given up. She isn’t paying attention in class, isn’t turning in homework and isn’t studying for tests. The lack of responsibility and accountability are what are going to get Sarah in trouble, not the difficulties with the class.
This chart of course would be adjusted depending on the child and their abilities but the goal of what I am trying to teach them is the same.
I hope that answered your question Lee.
On another completely different note, Sarah brought home a dog yesterday. It was an older black lab who was very friendly. She wanted to keep it forever but we just don’t have the room. Sarah and her friend from school (yes, she has a friend now) went around the neighborhood last night and knocked on doors trying to find the owner and then we took it too our local vet to see if she was micro chipped. We asked neighbors and kept our ears and eyes open when we drove through the neighborhood for anyone calling out for a dog. No owner has turned up so Rosie dropped him off at our local animal shelter. It is right down the street so if the owner lives anywhere near us, it would be the first place they would look.
In other dog news, Trixie refused to get out of bed this morning and literally had to be dragged out. She was walking really funny and running into things more than usual. I thought that maybe she was reacting to the other dog in the house. After Rosie got home from dropping off the lab she realized Trixie was still acting funny and then she threw up all over the couch. POOR THING! I am seriously hoping that she didn’t catch anything from the stray. Rosie is taking her to the vet right now so cross your fingers.
“ …… Not saying if would apply but what would you do if you found that she was making good effort but only getting a C?...”
It’s funny that she used the words ‘good effort’ because that was some of the wording I used in my original draft of the grade chart and I am not quite sure why I removed them.
There are going to be subjects she isn’t good at, material which baffle her and teachers with whom she doesn’t work well with. I understand that and as long as I see her working hard that is all I can ask for. If in the end she still ends up with a ‘D’ in the class, the only perceived consequence will be that mom is going to be a bit more involved at homework time in an effort to help.
The same would apply if her average was a “C”, though knowing her intelligence I would probably be very concerned and probably more involved with the school in trying to get assistance for her. I am not trying to punish her for not understanding something; I am trying to teach her to try her best.
Right now Sarah is dealing with the trio of issues (subject, material, and teacher). Instead of studying hard and asking for help she has simply given up. She isn’t paying attention in class, isn’t turning in homework and isn’t studying for tests. The lack of responsibility and accountability are what are going to get Sarah in trouble, not the difficulties with the class.
This chart of course would be adjusted depending on the child and their abilities but the goal of what I am trying to teach them is the same.
I hope that answered your question Lee.
On another completely different note, Sarah brought home a dog yesterday. It was an older black lab who was very friendly. She wanted to keep it forever but we just don’t have the room. Sarah and her friend from school (yes, she has a friend now) went around the neighborhood last night and knocked on doors trying to find the owner and then we took it too our local vet to see if she was micro chipped. We asked neighbors and kept our ears and eyes open when we drove through the neighborhood for anyone calling out for a dog. No owner has turned up so Rosie dropped him off at our local animal shelter. It is right down the street so if the owner lives anywhere near us, it would be the first place they would look.
In other dog news, Trixie refused to get out of bed this morning and literally had to be dragged out. She was walking really funny and running into things more than usual. I thought that maybe she was reacting to the other dog in the house. After Rosie got home from dropping off the lab she realized Trixie was still acting funny and then she threw up all over the couch. POOR THING! I am seriously hoping that she didn’t catch anything from the stray. Rosie is taking her to the vet right now so cross your fingers.
Wednesday, January 27, 2010
First set of paperwork
I am getting excited because I just received my first set of official looking paperwork regarding the adoption. It was the 'OAA' Open Adoption Agreement. The first was an agreement of open adoption between Sarah and Sarah's dad.
The agreement says:
1: We agree to facilitate 2 supervised visits per year
2: Dad will have to initiate contact to schedule visit via third party
3: We agree to send yearly updates and photo via third party
4: Dad shall agree to send photo adn letter to child yearly via third party
5: Dad my send Cards and presents for Christmas and Birthday
Their is also stipulation that if dad misses a visit, does initate contact for 1 year, brings people to visit without approval, is not sober, etc that we the adoptive parents have every right to stop contact.
It also says that the child can refuse contact if they wish and that we can stop visitation if we feel it is detrimental to the child.
Both Rosie and I agreed to this arrangement even though we both hope that there will be much more contact between Sarah and her dad.
The second 'OAA' was between Jasper, Sarah and their Birth mom. I hadn't expected them to set one up with birthmom but once we read it we decided to agree.
Mom contact:
1. We agree to send a yearly update and picture to mom via third party
2. Mom agrees to send a yearly picture and letter via third party
3. Mom may send Christmas and Birthday presents via third party.
Another stipulation within these agreements that all letter/pictures/presents can be reviewed by adoptive parents and only past on if deemed appropriate.
I also learned, via Jasmine's email trail on something she forwarded me, that they are going to move forward with a diligent search for mom which means that the court date will most likely be moved. :-(
I am just so very lucky that we have a good relationship with Jasmine. I feel lucky that we have had such good relationships with all of our social workers. I am constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have been scarred by other people's stories so I am just waiting for things to get difficult and overly stressful. Maybe we lucky and are just one of the exceptions. :-)
The agreement says:
1: We agree to facilitate 2 supervised visits per year
2: Dad will have to initiate contact to schedule visit via third party
3: We agree to send yearly updates and photo via third party
4: Dad shall agree to send photo adn letter to child yearly via third party
5: Dad my send Cards and presents for Christmas and Birthday
Their is also stipulation that if dad misses a visit, does initate contact for 1 year, brings people to visit without approval, is not sober, etc that we the adoptive parents have every right to stop contact.
It also says that the child can refuse contact if they wish and that we can stop visitation if we feel it is detrimental to the child.
Both Rosie and I agreed to this arrangement even though we both hope that there will be much more contact between Sarah and her dad.
The second 'OAA' was between Jasper, Sarah and their Birth mom. I hadn't expected them to set one up with birthmom but once we read it we decided to agree.
Mom contact:
1. We agree to send a yearly update and picture to mom via third party
2. Mom agrees to send a yearly picture and letter via third party
3. Mom may send Christmas and Birthday presents via third party.
Another stipulation within these agreements that all letter/pictures/presents can be reviewed by adoptive parents and only past on if deemed appropriate.
I also learned, via Jasmine's email trail on something she forwarded me, that they are going to move forward with a diligent search for mom which means that the court date will most likely be moved. :-(
I am just so very lucky that we have a good relationship with Jasmine. I feel lucky that we have had such good relationships with all of our social workers. I am constantly waiting for the other shoe to drop. I have been scarred by other people's stories so I am just waiting for things to get difficult and overly stressful. Maybe we lucky and are just one of the exceptions. :-)
First Lee left the following comment:
“Why is homework so important to you?”
I came from a household where education was valued. I didn’t feel pressure to get straight A’s but homework was expected always to be done and grades were suppose to be maintained at a decent level.
I bring the same style to my home. I am not expecting them to be Einstein but I do expect them to put forth good faith effort. Not only will they learn the curriculum but it teaches them responsibility and hard work. I am trying to teach them that there are ultimately responsible for their success, if you do your homework and pay attention you get good grades. If a subject comes hard to them then they realize that not everything is gained with minimal effort and they may need to motivate themselves to work harder.
We are having this issue with Sarah right now. School has been very easy for her and getting A’s & B’s took very little. Now she is taking a class which is harder and she is realizing that she is not going to be able to pass the class with her bare minimum. She may have to study and do homework at home, she may have to ask for help. At this point she is blaming everyone else for her lack of success in the class; the teacher hates her, she hates the school, what they are learning is stupid, etc.
When I saw she was failing my impulse was to come down hard but I sat back and chewed on it for a couple of days and then came up with this.
I gave it to her last night and explained each step and did not say a word about what I knew of her current grades. She became frustrated and gave excuses as to why she couldn’t get good grades. Sarah said she was assigned 4 essays and she has only been able to get two of them done! (she does all of her homework at school). When I suggested that she may have to do some homework at home or may have to study, she absolutely refused.
I disengaged and simply referred to the sheet and said that she knew the rewards and consequences for her grades. Both Rosie and I explained that we would be more than willing to help her study or with homework at any time and she would just need to ask. I offered to email the teacher in the subject she was having issues with to help open communication about getting extra help.
Will see how it goes, I decided not to look at her grades online until we get her trimester grades. The trimester ends March 14th so she still has plenty of time to turn things around.
“Why is homework so important to you?”
I came from a household where education was valued. I didn’t feel pressure to get straight A’s but homework was expected always to be done and grades were suppose to be maintained at a decent level.
I bring the same style to my home. I am not expecting them to be Einstein but I do expect them to put forth good faith effort. Not only will they learn the curriculum but it teaches them responsibility and hard work. I am trying to teach them that there are ultimately responsible for their success, if you do your homework and pay attention you get good grades. If a subject comes hard to them then they realize that not everything is gained with minimal effort and they may need to motivate themselves to work harder.
We are having this issue with Sarah right now. School has been very easy for her and getting A’s & B’s took very little. Now she is taking a class which is harder and she is realizing that she is not going to be able to pass the class with her bare minimum. She may have to study and do homework at home, she may have to ask for help. At this point she is blaming everyone else for her lack of success in the class; the teacher hates her, she hates the school, what they are learning is stupid, etc.
When I saw she was failing my impulse was to come down hard but I sat back and chewed on it for a couple of days and then came up with this.
I gave it to her last night and explained each step and did not say a word about what I knew of her current grades. She became frustrated and gave excuses as to why she couldn’t get good grades. Sarah said she was assigned 4 essays and she has only been able to get two of them done! (she does all of her homework at school). When I suggested that she may have to do some homework at home or may have to study, she absolutely refused.
I disengaged and simply referred to the sheet and said that she knew the rewards and consequences for her grades. Both Rosie and I explained that we would be more than willing to help her study or with homework at any time and she would just need to ask. I offered to email the teacher in the subject she was having issues with to help open communication about getting extra help.
Will see how it goes, I decided not to look at her grades online until we get her trimester grades. The trimester ends March 14th so she still has plenty of time to turn things around.
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